How To Get Your Partner To Finally Do “That One Thing”

I know you have said this before (about partners, team members, friends, and family):

"If only they did/didn't do this, if only they were/weren't like that - then everything would be easy!"

It's understandable, but here's why this creates the opposite of what you want:

I know how frustrating it is to ask someone for the 697th time to change their behavior. Being more organized. Respecting your boundaries. Not interrupting you in conversation. Not loading the dishwasher like a mentally challenged donkey. These things used to drive me mad.

"Why can't they just do this one tiny little thing?"

It's the wrong question to ask. When you focus on it, you create resistance towards what is. This resistance spreads to the other, keeping them from change.

The harder you push, the more resistance you create.

Instead, ask yourself: "How can I accept and find my peace with how things are?"

When you do that, you shift your whole energy. You let go of the need for stuff to be different. This means you create space for stuff to actually be different.

Then you can communicate your needs clearly and effectively - if you even need to anymore.

I didn't believe it at first, but when I gave people space instead of holding on to them, they came closer. When I shared how someone's actions made me feel instead of pushing them to act a certain way, they changed their behavior. When I created physical intimacy without wanting sex, my girlfriend started asking me for it.

When I stopped resisting what was, I made space for what could be.

The truth is, you'll never be able to control someone's behavior, as much as the ego would love to do that.

You can only control your response - and it's much better to do this from a place of calm power instead of agitated frenzy.

Secret Sauce - This week's challenge:

That one thing you want to be different? Accept it. It will bring you peace.

Peace brings power because you no longer waste your energy on fighting what is.

Let go of your resistance and inspire others to do the same - that's how you create change.

You'll be surprised about the results.

🙏

All the best from a keyboard not far away,

Moreno

PS: If you want to know more about solving the problems in your relationship and turning it into a place of respect, intimacy, and love, I offer premium 1:1 coaching. Book a free call here and I'll take a look at your specific situation.